part 3: eliminating to - be verbs and passive voice. instructions: the paragraph below analyzes lincolns…

part 3: eliminating to - be verbs and passive voice. instructions: the paragraph below analyzes lincolns gettysburg address. it is grammatically correct, but it relies heavily on to - be verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been) and passive constructions. this makes the writing weak, vague, and slow. your task: rewrite the paragraph to make it stronger. write this on separate notebook paper. - reduce or eliminate to - be verbs - change passive constructions to active voice - make the writing more direct and energetic weak paragraph (original) lincolns gettysburg address is considered one of the most powerful speeches in american history. the speech was delivered on november 19, 1863, at the dedication of the soldiers national cemetery in gettysburg, pennsylvania. lincolns purpose was to honor the fallen soldiers and to remind the nation of its founding principles. several rhetorical strategies are employed by lincoln to achieve this purpose. repetition is used throughout the speech to emphasize key ideas. the phrase we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground is an example of anaphora that was included to show the limitations of words in honoring sacrifice. parallelism is also present in the famous opening: four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. this structure was chosen by lincoln to give the speech rhythm and solemnity. additionally, the speech is brief - only 272 words - which is significant because brevity was used to make the message more memorable and impactful. the contrast between the great task remaining before us and the sacrifice of the dead soldiers is established to inspire the audience to continue the fight for equality and unity. lincolns final call to action is effective because it is grounded in the principles that were fought for by the soldiers. overall, the gettysburg address is a masterpiece of persuasive rhetoric because powerful strategies are combined with emotional restraint to create a lasting impact on american consciousness. revision guide (questions to consider). as you revise, ask yourself: 1. who is doing what? find the real actor and make them the subject. - weak: several rhetorical strategies are employed by lincoln... - strong: lincoln employs several rhetorical strategies... 2. what action is really happening? replace is/are/was/were + noun with strong verbs. - weak: repetition is used throughout... - strong: lincoln repeats key phrases throughout... 3. can you cut to be entirely? sometimes you can eliminate it with better word choices. - weak: this is significant because... - strong: this matters because... or this significance lies in... 4. is the passive voice hiding the actor? reveal them. - weak: the contrast is established... - strong: lincoln establishes the contrast...

part 3: eliminating to - be verbs and passive voice. instructions: the paragraph below analyzes lincolns gettysburg address. it is grammatically correct, but it relies heavily on to - be verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been) and passive constructions. this makes the writing weak, vague, and slow. your task: rewrite the paragraph to make it stronger. write this on separate notebook paper. - reduce or eliminate to - be verbs - change passive constructions to active voice - make the writing more direct and energetic weak paragraph (original) lincolns gettysburg address is considered one of the most powerful speeches in american history. the speech was delivered on november 19, 1863, at the dedication of the soldiers national cemetery in gettysburg, pennsylvania. lincolns purpose was to honor the fallen soldiers and to remind the nation of its founding principles. several rhetorical strategies are employed by lincoln to achieve this purpose. repetition is used throughout the speech to emphasize key ideas. the phrase we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground is an example of anaphora that was included to show the limitations of words in honoring sacrifice. parallelism is also present in the famous opening: four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. this structure was chosen by lincoln to give the speech rhythm and solemnity. additionally, the speech is brief - only 272 words - which is significant because brevity was used to make the message more memorable and impactful. the contrast between the great task remaining before us and the sacrifice of the dead soldiers is established to inspire the audience to continue the fight for equality and unity. lincolns final call to action is effective because it is grounded in the principles that were fought for by the soldiers. overall, the gettysburg address is a masterpiece of persuasive rhetoric because powerful strategies are combined with emotional restraint to create a lasting impact on american consciousness. revision guide (questions to consider). as you revise, ask yourself: 1. who is doing what? find the real actor and make them the subject. - weak: several rhetorical strategies are employed by lincoln... - strong: lincoln employs several rhetorical strategies... 2. what action is really happening? replace is/are/was/were + noun with strong verbs. - weak: repetition is used throughout... - strong: lincoln repeats key phrases throughout... 3. can you cut to be entirely? sometimes you can eliminate it with better word choices. - weak: this is significant because... - strong: this matters because... or this significance lies in... 4. is the passive voice hiding the actor? reveal them. - weak: the contrast is established... - strong: lincoln establishes the contrast...

Answer

Brief Explanations:

We identify the real actors (Lincoln) as subjects, replace "to - be" verb + noun structures with strong verbs, eliminate "to - be" where possible by choosing better words, and change passive voice to active voice following the revision guide.

Answer:

Lincoln considers his Gettysburg Address one of the most powerful speeches in American history. He delivered the speech on November 19, 1863, at the dedication of the Soldiers' National Cemetery in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Lincoln aimed to honor the fallen soldiers and remind the nation of its founding principles. He employs several rhetorical strategies to achieve this purpose. Throughout the speech, Lincoln repeats key phrases to emphasize key ideas. The phrase "we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground" is an example of anaphora that he included to show the limitations of words in honoring sacrifice. Parallelism is also present in the famous opening: "Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal." Lincoln chose this structure to give the speech rhythm and solemnity. Additionally, the speech's brevity - only 272 words - matters because it makes the message more memorable and impactful. Lincoln established the contrast between the "great task remaining before us" and the sacrifice of the dead soldiers to inspire the audience to continue the fight for equality and unity. His final call to action is effective because it is grounded in the principles that the soldiers fought for. Overall, Lincoln's Gettysburg Address is a masterpiece of persuasive rhetoric. He combined powerful strategies with emotional restraint to create a lasting impact on American consciousness.