read the body paragraphs of an argumentative essay. national parks are totally important in the economy…

read the body paragraphs of an argumentative essay. national parks are totally important in the economy. each park creates opportunities for tourism. millions of visitors travel to national parks. for example, almost 3.5 million visitors went to yellowstone park in wyoming in 2012. these visitors need tons of services, which creates job opportunities for local residents. so, its obvious that national parks play an important role in the economy. how could this excerpt be best improved? the writer could make the tone more academic. the writer could make the tone more informal. the writer could change viewpoints on the topic. the writer could include more transitions.

read the body paragraphs of an argumentative essay. national parks are totally important in the economy. each park creates opportunities for tourism. millions of visitors travel to national parks. for example, almost 3.5 million visitors went to yellowstone park in wyoming in 2012. these visitors need tons of services, which creates job opportunities for local residents. so, its obvious that national parks play an important role in the economy. how could this excerpt be best improved? the writer could make the tone more academic. the writer could make the tone more informal. the writer could change viewpoints on the topic. the writer could include more transitions.

Answer

Brief Explanations:

The writing has a somewhat informal tone with words like "totally" and "tons". An academic - style argumentative essay would benefit from a more formal tone. There are no issues with changing viewpoints as the stance is clear, and transitions are not the main problem here.

Answer:

The writer could make the tone more academic.