read the paragraph from gordons personal narrative.\n1 when i first entered the room, i was really struck by…

read the paragraph from gordons personal narrative.\n1 when i first entered the room, i was really struck by what i saw. 2 it was my first day of cooking lessons, and i was on my way to fulfilling my dreams of one day becoming a chef in my own world - renowned restaurant.\n3 i had spent countless hours of my childhood watching my parents, both professional chefs, prepare delicious meals. 4 from them, i had already obtained a solid foundation of cooking basics. 5 however, it was in this room that i would build upon those basics and begin my ascent as a chef in my own right.\nwhich sentence should gordon revise to make it more precise, and why?\ngordon should revise sentence 1 to provide specific details about what \struck\ him as he first entered the room.\ngordon should revise sentence 2 to describe his dreams more clearly and explain what he hopes to accomplish one day.\ngordon should revise sentence 3 to replace vague words like \countless\ and \delicious\ with more precise adjectives.\ngordon should revise sentence 4 to add detailed examples about the many cooking basics he learned from his parents.

read the paragraph from gordons personal narrative.\n1 when i first entered the room, i was really struck by what i saw. 2 it was my first day of cooking lessons, and i was on my way to fulfilling my dreams of one day becoming a chef in my own world - renowned restaurant.\n3 i had spent countless hours of my childhood watching my parents, both professional chefs, prepare delicious meals. 4 from them, i had already obtained a solid foundation of cooking basics. 5 however, it was in this room that i would build upon those basics and begin my ascent as a chef in my own right.\nwhich sentence should gordon revise to make it more precise, and why?\ngordon should revise sentence 1 to provide specific details about what \struck\ him as he first entered the room.\ngordon should revise sentence 2 to describe his dreams more clearly and explain what he hopes to accomplish one day.\ngordon should revise sentence 3 to replace vague words like \countless\ and \delicious\ with more precise adjectives.\ngordon should revise sentence 4 to add detailed examples about the many cooking basics he learned from his parents.

Answer

Brief Explanations:

In sentence 1, “was really struck by what I saw” is too vague. To make the narrative more engaging and precise, Gordon should specify what exactly in the room caught his attention. For example, he could describe the equipment, the layout, or the people in the room. This would give the reader a clearer picture of his initial impression. Sentence 2 already clearly states his dream of becoming a chef in a world - renowned restaurant. Sentence 3, while “countless” and “delicious” are somewhat general, the context of his parents being professional chefs gives some understanding. Sentence 4, the idea of a “solid foundation of cooking basics” is a reasonable summary without the need for extensive examples at this stage of the narrative.

Answer:

Gordon should revise sentence 1 to provide specific details about what “struck” him as he first entered the room.