analyzing & revising
directions: read and analyze each thesis statement. list what is incorrect in the middle column and write a revised statement in the column on the right.
| poor thesis | whats incorrect? | revised thesis |
| --- | --- | --- |
| this paper will examine and explain what makes a good leader | | |

Question

analyzing & revising
directions: read and analyze each thesis statement. list what is incorrect in the middle column and write a revised statement in the column on the right.
| poor thesis | whats incorrect? | revised thesis |
| --- | --- | --- |
| this paper will examine and explain what makes a good leader |  |  |

Accepted Answer

# Brief Explanations:
The original thesis only states a general topic without making a specific, arguable claim—it is too vague and merely announces the paper's intent instead of presenting a clear, defensible position. A strong thesis needs to identify specific traits and their impact to guide the paper.
# Answer:
| POOR THESIS | WHAT'S INCORRECT? | REVISED THESIS |
|-------------|-------------------|----------------|
| This paper will examine and explain what makes a good leader | Too vague; only announces the topic, no specific, arguable claim | A good leader is defined by emotional intelligence, adaptive decision-making, and a commitment to empowering team members, as these traits foster collaborative, high-performing work environments. |

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