Question

michelle zauner • 2018
1 ever since my mom died, i cry in h mart. for those of you who don’t know, h mart is a supermarket chain that specializes in asian food. the “h” stands for han ah reum, a korean phrase that roughly translates to “one arm full of groceries.” h mart is where parachute kids go to get the exact brand of instant noodles that reminds them of home. it’s where korean families buy rice cakes to make tteokguk, a beef soup that brings in the new year. it’s the only place where you can find a giant vat of peeled garlic, because it’s the only place that truly understands how much garlic you’ll need for the kind of food your people eat. h mart is freedom from the single-aisle “ethnic” section in regular grocery stores. they don’t prop goya beans next to bottles of sriracha here. instead, you’ll likely find me crying by the banchan refrigerators, remembering the taste of my mom’s soy sauce eggs and cold radish soup. or in the freezer section, holding a stack of dumpling skins, thinking of all the hours that mom and i spent at the kitchen table folding minced pork and chives into the thin dough. sobbing near the dry goods, asking myself, “am i even korean anymore if there’s no one left in my life to call and ask which brand of seaweed we used to buy?”
when i was growing up, with a caucasian father and a korean mother, my mom was my access point for our korean heritage. while she never actually taught me how to cook (korean people tend to disavow measurements and supply only cryptic instructions along...
1 paragraphs 1-2: explain the dual nature of zauner’s loss.
spicy korean tteokbokki dish by markus winkler is licensed under cc0.

Explanation:

To explain the dual nature of Zauner’s loss, we analyze the text:

1. Loss of Mother: The death of her mom is a personal, emotional loss. She cries in H - Mart as the place triggers memories of her mom (e.g., mom’s soy sauce eggs, cooking together), showing the grief of losing a parent and the connection to Korean heritage her mom provided.
2. Loss of Cultural Identity Anchor: With her mom gone, Zauner questions her Korean identity (“Am I even Korean anymore...?”). Her mom was her “access point for our Korean heritage”, so the loss also means losing the person who grounded her in her Korean culture, as seen in the uncertainty about cultural practices (like which seaweed to buy) without her mom to ask.

Answer:

Zauner’s loss has a dual nature:

1. Personal Loss of Her Mother: The death of her mother brings deep emotional grief, as H - Mart triggers memories of her mom (e.g., mom’s cooking, shared kitchen moments), and she mourns the loss of her parent and the bond they shared.
2. Loss of Cultural Identity Anchor: Her mother was her connection to Korean heritage. Without her mom, Zauner questions her Korean identity (e.g., “Am I even Korean anymore...?”) as she loses the person who guided her in cultural practices (like choosing seaweed, understanding Korean cooking traditions), making her feel adrift from her cultural roots.