QUESTION IMAGE
Question
read the sentence.
i told them how surprised and excited i was to have my
painting selected, especially since id felt so incompetent
at the beginning and i knew the competition was so
ruthless.
which revision best uses dialogue to reveal more about
the character?
○ \it was such a big surprise.\ i told them. \im excited
that my painting was selected!\ i had felt so
incompetent at the beginning, feeling unqualified next
to such ruthless competition.
○ i told them truthfully that i was surprised to be
chosen. the competition was ruthless, so very fierce.
i felt so incompetent at the beginning. its really
exciting to have my painting selected.
○ \im in!\ i exclaimed, voice cracking with emotion.
\my painting was selected and i might faint!\ i felt so
incompetent at the beginning competing against such
ruthless competition.
○ \did you hear?\ i asked them. \my painting was
selected!\ they cheered loudly, especially given that
the competition was so ruthless. i had felt so
incompetent at the beginning
The best revision uses natural, emotional dialogue that directly shows the character's surprise and excitement, while tying in their past feelings of incompetence and the tough competition. The third option uses expressive dialogue ("I'm in!" I exclaimed, voice cracking with emotion. "My painting was selected and I might faint!") that vividly reveals the character's overwhelmed, joyful state, which better shows their personality than just stating emotions. The other options either mix dialogue with too much narrative telling or have less emotionally specific dialogue.
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○ "I'm in!" I exclaimed, voice cracking with emotion. "My painting was selected and I might faint!" I felt so incompetent at the beginning competing against such ruthless competition.