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Question
read fatimas paragraph.
having moved up north just last year, i experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. at first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting. then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that i felt cocooned from the outside world. when the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth.
which sentence will fatima’s teacher most likely ask her to revise?
- having moved up north just last year, i experienced my first snowstorm this past winter.
- at first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting.
- then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that i felt cocooned from the outside world.
- when the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth.
The first sentence has a logical inconsistency: Fatima moved north last year, but says she experienced her first snowstorm this past winter (which would be after moving north, but the phrasing creates a confusing timeline that implies the snowstorm was before moving, which is contradictory). The other sentences use consistent, vivid descriptive language without logical errors.
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Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter.