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Question
read fatima’s paragraph. having moved up north just last year, i experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. at first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting. then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that i felt cocooned from the outside world. when the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth. which sentence will fatima’s teacher most likely ask her to revise? having moved up north just last year, i experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. at first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting. then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that i felt cocooned from the outside world. when the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth.
The sentence has a spelling error ("curthn" instead of "curtain") and a minor logical disconnect: a "curtain" of snow would typically obscure vision, but "cocooned from the outside world" implies being enclosed, which doesn't align perfectly with the visual block of a snow curtain. This makes it the most likely candidate for revision.
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○ Then, the snow became a curthn, blinding my view so that I felt cocooned from the outside world.