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Question
use the peel method (point, explanation, evidence, and link) for a 5 - paragraph formal essay. write all of the below as a grade 11 level student sample answer (not too simple vocabulary, but also not too complex). the essay topic is \cell phones should not be allowed in schools.\ create a thesis statement first. then give an explanation, evidence, and a link for these 3 topic sentences below for each body paragraph. you can also give suggestions to improve the topic sentences. make sure to use transition words! 1. first and foremost, cell phones can significantly detract students from learning in the classroom. 2. the presence of cell phones in schools can also exacerbate the problem of cyberbullying among students. 3. cell phones provide opportunities for students to engage in academic dishonesty, which undermines the integrity of the educational process. as a student sample answer, make the 2 explanation sentences so that they expand on the initial point of the paragraph, and give more details on the point that isnt exactly the main point but is closely related to it, and make sure its not evidence.
Thesis statement: Cell phones should be banned from schools due to their negative impacts on learning, cyberbullying, and academic integrity.
For topic sentence 1:
- Explanation: Students are easily distracted by notifications and the temptation to check their phones during lessons, which disrupts the learning - flow. Also, the allure of social media and games on phones can draw their attention away from classwork.
- Evidence: A study showed that students who use their phones in class have lower grades on average.
- Link: This distraction clearly hinders the educational experience, making a strong case for a ban. Suggestion: Add "With the constant pinging of messages and apps" at the beginning for a stronger start.
For topic sentence 2:
- Explanation: The anonymity and ease of communication on cell - phones in school can embolden students to engage in cyberbullying. It also allows for the rapid spread of hurtful messages and images within the school community.
- Evidence: Schools with high cell - phone usage report more cases of cyberbullying.
- Link: Thus, cell phones in schools contribute to a toxic social environment. Suggestion: "Moreover, the digital nature of cell - phone interactions" can be added at the start to transition better.
For topic sentence 3:
- Explanation: Students may use cell phones to look up answers during tests or share exam questions, undermining the fairness of assessments. Also, the availability of pre - written essays and study materials on phones can lead to plagiarism.
- Evidence: Instances of academic dishonesty have increased in schools where cell - phone use is prevalent.
- Link: This directly violates the principles of a fair educational system. Suggestion: "Furthermore, the accessibility of information on cell - phones" can be used as a transition.
With the constant pinging of messages and apps, students are easily distracted by notifications and the temptation to check their phones during lessons, which disrupts the learning - flow. Also, the allure of social media and games on phones can draw their attention away from classwork.
Evidence: A study showed that students who use their phones in class have lower grades on average.
Link: This distraction clearly hinders the educational experience, making a strong case for a ban.
Paragraph 2:
Point: The presence of cell phones in schools can also exacerbate the problem of cyberbullying among students.
Moreover, the digital nature of cell - phone interactions can embolden students to engage in cyberbullying. It also allows for the rapid spread of hurtful messages and images within the school community.
Evidence: Schools with high cell - phone usage report more cases of cyberbullying.
Link: Thus, cell phones in schools contribute to a toxic social environment.
Paragraph 3:
Point: Cell phones provide opportunities for students to engage in academic dishonesty, which undermines the integrity of the educational process.
Furthermore, the accessibility of information on cell - phones means students may use them to look up answers during tests or share exam questions, undermining the fairness of assessments. Also, the availability of pre - written essays and study materials on phones can lead to plagiarism.
Evidence: Instances of academic dishonesty have increased in schools where cell - phone use is prevalent.
Link: This directly violates the principles of a fair educational system.
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Thesis statement: Cell phones should be banned from schools due to their negative impacts on learning, cyberbullying, and academic integrity.
Paragraph 1:
Point: First and foremost, cell phones can significantly detract students from learning in the classroom.